"I am a Seenager (senior teenager). I have everything I wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang out with are not scared of getting pregnant. And they do not use drugs. And I don’t have acne. Life is great!" – Source unknown
Speaking of age, remember when the saying "act your age" was insulting. Not anymore. If anyone so much as hints at such a thing, my youthful instincts kick in.
Even though my body feels the pain of nearly 50 years of chasing the American Dream, good luck telling my head that.
When my dad was in his 70’s, he always used to say, "In my mind, I’m still 35." I think that’s what kept him young.
So you can imagine my elation when stumbling upon the article "You’re not too old for that" published in a recent issue of AARP Magazine.
Thwarting any notion of aging, this piece really does think outside the box when it comes to pushing the envelope.
In fact, from all accounts, the sky’s the limit for people over 50, although not without its risks.
I suppose that’s why the article comes with those little warning labels, rating each senior challenge as "physically dangerous," "incredibly expensive," "potentially embarrassing" or "utterly impossible."
Things like playing drums in a rock band, becoming a fashion model and, yes, having a baby. [You’ve got to be kidding?] Although, while the health risks of giving birth after 50 are well documented, some 677 U.S. women did just that in 2013.
Other possibilities include scaling a mountain, piloting a plane, becoming a doctor and entering the ring as a prize fighter.
I know most of these ideas aren’t exactly the retirements we’ve envisions all these years, but in reality, I guess you’re only as old as you feel.
Hopefully, as the largest generation ever, we Baby Boomers will age gracefully.
I don’t care how old you are – something has to be done about TV remotes.
Talk about complicated. Not only do I struggle figuring them out, I look like a remote control idiot trying to make them work.
There’s got to be a simpler way to watch my favorite shows and movies without having to fumble with all of those buttons and arrows [which, by the way, I can’t see without my AARP magnifying glass.] Why not make voice commands universal on all remote controls?
Talk about learning how to do the impossible, did you hear about the dog who rides the city bus in Seattle?
He’s a two-year-old black Lab mix named Eclipse. His owner taught him how to take the bus all on his own to the local dog park and back. [Now, that is one smart puppy!]
Eclipse isn’t the only canine hopping public transportation these days.
According to a Huffington Post report, there are stray dogs in Moscow, Russia, that have learned how to commute in and out of the city on subways.
Now, if dogs can navigate big city public transit systems, maybe I could learn how to fly a plane or become a doctor. But I’d be happy settling for knowing how to work the remote.
SOURCES: "You’re not too old for that," Brennen Jensen and Jim Meyer, AARP Magazine, June/July 2015; "Seattle dog figures out buses, starts riding solo to the dog park," Huffington Post, Jan. 13, 2015
Paula Bosco Damon is a national award-winning writer whose columns appear weekly in regional newspapers of the Upper Midwest. For more information, email firstname.lastname@example.org.